I don't know how to love Him

After I published "Love in the First Degree", I got a comment says : "
I don’t think fear of God is necessarily the best motivation to have for stopping crossdressing. We don’t need to fear God if our sins are forgiven in Jesus. But if we have accepted Jesus as our savior and we love God, then we are transformed people, new creations in Christ. We become people who love and delight in living for God and living in the way he wants us to live. So if crossdressing displeases him, we stop doing it for that reason. We don’t stop out of fear, and we don’t stop to try to earn our salvation. We stop because we want to live for God out of gratitude for the salvation and forgiveness he has already given to us."

Well, I don't know what to say, because it is true. I think I don't know how to love Him. Not yet until now, even after many years I went to the house of God to worship Him. Maybe I was stiffnecked. Maybe I was a hypocrite. Every morning and night I pray, but I still don't know how to show gratitude to God for forgiveness and salvation that I already received. Instead of listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, I even satisfy my own lust by  doing crossdressing every weekend. What a hypocrite I am ! I look like a male prostitute wearing an attractive dress trying to attract my opposite gender. What a shame !

This video below is about a prostitute called Mary Magdalene who finally  repented. I wish I could repent like she did. Can I ?

 I don't know how to love him
What to do, how to move him
I've been changed, yes really changed
In these past few days
When I've seen myself
I seem like someone else
I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
And I've had so many
Men before
In very many ways
He's just one more
Should I bring him down
Should I scream and shout
Should I speak of love
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one
Who's always been
So calm so cool
No lover's fool
Running every show
He scares me so
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?
Yet
If he said he loved me
I'd be lost
I'd be frightened
I couldn't cope
Just couldn't cope
I'd turn my head
I'd back away
I wouldn't want to know
He scares me so
I want him so
I love him so

Here comes the bride

Revelation 19:7 says that church is the bride of Christ. But1 Corinthians  6:9 says "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites".  It seems that male prostitutes and sodomites related to sissy. And sissy of course at least related to crossdresser.

Paragraph above seems to make us confused. God wants us to be His bride. And bride gender is female. But in another time, He through His apostle said that our kind won't inherit His kingdom, won't go to heaven. How can it be ?

Maybe the reason why He supposes His people as His bride is because marriage is a holy matrimony, a very sacred relationship. And of  course because He is male, so we are described as female as His bride.

So now  the crossdressers maybe can have a reason to say, so we can do crossdressing ourselves as His bride. Crossdressing for God ? It's like a twist facts or word game. Isn't it ?

But that is all just my fiction only. I myself actually still confused. So someone please comment my article. Thanks in advance