Highway to hell

Last year I got a new friend in a social network. He added me first, but I hesitated.  Because after I looked at his photos and profile,  seemed that he is an ordinary guy who has a normal and happy  family. Why he wants to be my friend ? So I hesitantly confirmed his friend request. After that I sent him a message that asked him if he wasn't wrong to add me as his friend. But his answer made me suprised, in fact he is a crossdresser. And I was his first crossdresser friend.

His further story continued to surprise me at least a little. Because he is a parish council in his church. He and his wife diligently serve his God. They are activists in their church. Later he even made an account using a female name in that social network and continue to add new crossdresser friends.

Then because of curiosity, I  asked him his opinion about crossdressing according to his belief. My question was very simple and maybe too stereotype "Is crossdressing a sin ?".  And I said  there is a verse in the bible that said about it in Deuteronomy 22:5. He seemed to need some time to think about it and made an answer. After for a while, he said that we can not interpret a verse in the bible a piece by a piece separately. A man is judged by his function and his services  in society.

I couldn't reply to his answer. I am younger than him, I am not a parish council in my church. So in my opinion, I surely am not wiser than him. Maybe the verse in the Old Testament was not longer suit with the recent situation. I hope that his opinion was right. Because if not, but even the other way around. Does it like that he is on highway to hell ? So do I.

Afterglow

This article is written in 2 languages : English and Indonesian. Artikel ini ditulis dalam 2 bahasa : Inggris dan Bahasa Indonesia.


English

Some days ago I read about this on my friend's blog. So I like to tell about my own experience about it. My feelings and thoughts that come right after my crossdressing.

My crossdressing  has been happened to me for decades. It happened to me gradually a little by a little. First I crossdressed with blanket that I wrapped around my waist like a Javanese traditional woman wearing their traditional batik cloth. Then I used batik cloth. After that I began to complete my crossdressing custom with traditional Javanese blouse called kebaya. That time I always ended my crossdressing with masturbation and I feel the same as my friend said in that posting. Guilt, shame, disgust, and feeling dirty come after crossdressing and becomes a weird looking man in a dress.

But after I perfect my crossdressing with makeup that consisted of powder, lipstick, false eyelashes, eyebrow pencil, mascara, eye shadow and wig. I feel different. I don't feel shame, disgust, and feeling dirty come after crossdressing and not  becomes a weird looking man in a dress. Sometimes I even don't clean my makeup after I finished my crossdressing, but I just change my dress into my normal ordinary male dress. By that time sometimes I still look my self in the mirror and feel that I still look like a girl or a woman. Sometimes I feel reluctantly to clean up my makeup. I want to enjoy my face as a girl in the mirror as long as it can after the masturbation. So I let my makeup fades and almost disappeared, then I clean up the rest.




Bahasa Indonesia

Beberapa hari yang lalu saya membaca tentang ini di blog teman saya. Jadi saya ingin bercerita tentang pengalaman saya sendiri tentang hal itu. Perasaan dan pikiran saya yang datang tepat setelah crossdressing.

Crossdressing  telah terjadi pada saya selama beberapa dekade. Itu terjadi pada saya secara bertahap sedikit demi sedikit. Pertama saya crossdressed dengan selimut yang saya lilit di pinggang seperti wanita tradisional Jawa memakai kain batik tradisional mereka. Kemudian saya menggunakan kain batik. Setelah itu saya mulai melengkapi pakaian crossdressing saya dengan blus tradisional Jawa yang disebut kebaya. Waktu itu saya selalu mengakhiri crossdressing saya dengan masturbasi dan saya merasa sama dengan teman saya seperti dalam postingnya. Rasa bersalah, malu, jijik, dan merasa kotor datang setelah crossdressing dan menjadi seorang pria dengan wajah aneh dengan  gaun wanita.

Tapi setelah saya menyempurnakan crossdressing saya dengan make up yang terdiri dari bedak, lipstik, bulu mata palsu, pensil alis, maskara, eye shadow dan wig. Saya merasa berbeda. Saya tidak merasa malu, jijik, dan merasa kotor  setelah crossdressing dan tidak menjadi seorang pria dengan wajah aneh dengan gaun wanita. Kadang-kadang saya bahkan tidak membersihkan make up saya setelah saya selesai crossdressing, tapi saya hanya berganti pakaian dengan pakaian normal laki-laki saya. Pada saat itu kadang-kadang saya masih melihat diri saya di cermin dan merasa bahwa saya masih terlihat seperti seorang gadis atau wanita. Kadang-kadang saya merasa enggan untuk membersihkan make up saya. Saya ingin menikmati wajah saya sebagai gadis di cermin selama itu mungkin setelah masturbasi. Jadi saya biarkan riasan saya memudar dan hampir hilang, baru saya bersihkan sisanya.

Farah Quinn

This article is written in 2 languages : English and Indonesian. Artikel ini ditulis dalam 2 bahasa : Inggris dan Indonesia.


English

She is a famous chef from Indonesia. She has her own show on tv called "Ala Chef". This show even broadcasted on Asian Food Channel ( AFC ). For you know, a famous chef in Indonesia is almost like a celebrity like a film star or a singer. She is lucky. Beside she is a good cook, her face and her body is very beautiful and can be said sexy. Her breasts are huge.

Some days ago Chef Farah Quinn was reprimanded by the Indonesian Broadcasting Commission (KPI) for the show, Ala Chef because considered  wearing clothes that stand out so it seemed to show her breasts. However, Farah is emphatically denied and admitted that the clothing used was ordinary clothes. ( Yahoo )

In my opinion, it was all coincidentally. First, her breasts are huge.  Second, because she cooked in tropical country so she wasn't wrong if she wore a dress that makes her comfortable from the humid and warm weather. A dress which not too closed, but with low and  wide opening. Third, because the show was cooking show so the camera must shoot her from close up distance and from the height that was about her breasts. So the recipes  that cooked by her can be seen clearly by the audience.


Indonesia

Dia adalah seorang koki terkenal dari Indonesia. Dia memiliki acara sendiri di tv yang bernama  "Ala Chef". Acara ini bahkan disiarkan di Asian Food Channel  (AFC). Untuk anda ketahui,  seorang koki terkenal di Indonesia hampir seperti selebriti seperti bintang film atau penyanyi. Dia beruntung. Selain pintar memasak, wajah dan tubuhnya sangat indah dan bisa dikatakan seksi. Payudaranya sangat besar.

Beberapa hari yang lalu Chef Farah Quinn ditegur oleh Komisi Penyiaran Indonesia (KPI) untuk acaranya, Ala Chef karena dianggap mengenakan pakaian yang menonjol sehingga terkesan memperlihatkan payudaranya. Namun, Farah dengan tegas membantah dan mengakui bahwa pakaian yang digunakan adalah pakaian biasa. ( Yahoo )

Menurut pendapat saya, itu semua kebetulan. Pertama, payudaranya sangat besar. Kedua, karena dia dimasak di negara tropis sehingga dia tidak salah jika ia mengenakan gaun yang membuatnya nyaman dari cuaca lembab dan hangat. Gaun yang tidak terlalu tertutup, tetapi dengan bukaan rendah dan lebar. Ketiga, karena acara itu acara memasak sehingga kamera harus menembak dia dari jarak close up dan dari ketinggian sekitar payudaranya. Supaya resep yang dimasak oleh dia bisa terlihat jelas oleh penonton.

Mas Que Nada

"Mas que Nada" is a song written and originally performed by Jorge Ben in his first album, "Samba Esquema Novo" (1963), which in a later cover version became the signature song of Sérgio Mendes. ( Wikipedia )

In reality, it's a very hot samba. But I don't know why then it becomes the background of Nike football advertisement video and becomes the background of Brazilian football. The only plausible reason is because samba comes from Brazil.

For you know, I like to watch football ( sometimes said as  soccer ) since I was a kid. And Brazil is one of my favourite teams. Every time World Cup happened, I can be said always watch it on tv. I still remember the first World Cup that I watched on tv is World Cup 1974 in West Germany.

Until now I still like to watch football on tv, at least I still follow the news, scores of games  and rumours about it everyday on tv. I also like the league competition in certain countries in Europe. Italy, England and Spain. In England, my favourite team is Manchester United. But I also like Chelsea and Liverpool. In Italy, I like AS Roma and SS Lazio. In Spain, I like Real Madrid and Barcelona.

I also follow the news of UEFA Champions League. Too bad, this season the English teams seem not so lucky.

And last but not least is the racial issue between Luis Suarez from Liverpool and Patrice Evra from Manchester United. I saw that Luis Suarez refused to shake hands with Patrice Evra. I don't know who is wrong, but for the sportmanship I hope this problem will be over soon. Just like the motto of UEFA "My Game Is Fair Play" or "football against racism"

Wig

I write this article in 2 languages : English and Indonesian. Saya menulis artikel ini dalam 2 bahasa : Inggris dan Indonesia.


Bahasa Indonesia.

Wig adalah rambut palsu yang dipasang di kepala. Biasanya dipakai untuk menutupi kekurangan rambut kita. Seperti tipis atau botak. Ini terutama ditujukan untuk para wanita. Atau seeorang yang ingin terlihat seperti seorang wanita. Ini biasanya berhubungan dengan crossdresser, ladyboy, shemale, sissy dan  transvestise. Termasuk saya.

Di Jawa, ada wig khusus yang dipakai oleh wanita Jawa waktu mereka memakai busana tradisional. Namanya sanggul atau konde. Karena sejak pertama kali saya melakukan crossdressing, saya selalu memakai busana tradisional Jawa, maka saya membeli sebuah sanggul. Waktu itu saya membelinya tanpa mempertimbangkan bentuk muka saya.

Sanggul dipasang dibelakang kepala kita. Pertama, kita harus punya rambut yang cukup panjang untuk dapat diikat, setelah itu kita tempatkan sanggul kita dan tempelkan  ke rambut dengan jepit rambut. Kita harus meletakkan jepit rambut sedekat mungkin pada ekor rambut kita dari empat arah. Dari atas, bawah, kiri dan kanan. Kita juga menempatkan jepit rambut lain setinggi kira-kira telinga kita. Gunakan jepit rambut cukup banyak supaya sanggul dapat kokoh menempel di belakang kepala kita.

Apa yang saya terangkan diatas adalah apa yang saya pelajari secara otodidak dan berhasil. Saya tidak tahu apakah prosedurnya salah atau kurang tepat.

Tahun kemarin saya mulai memakai pakaian wanita modern, jadi saya tidak memakai sanggul.

Dibawah ini ada beberapa link yang berhubungan dengan cara memilih wig yang cocok dengan bentuk wajah kita.


English.

A wig is a fake hair that placed on head. It usually used to cover our hair shortfall. Such as thin or bald. This is primarily intended for women. Or someone who wants to look alike a woman. This usually related to crossdresser, ladyboy, shemale, sissy and  transvestise. Including me.

In Java, there is a special wig that used by Javanese women when they wear traditional custom. It is called "sanggul" or "konde". It's almost like a bun. Because since the first time I did crossdressing I always use Javanese traditional custom, so I bought a bun. That time I bought it without considering the form of my face.

It mounted on the back of our head. First, we should have long hair enough for tied up, after that we place our bun and stick it to the hair with hairpins. We should put the hairpins  as close as possible to the tail of our hair in four directions.  From above, below, left and from right. We also put other hairpins as  high about our ears. Use many hairpins so the bun can stays firm in the back of our head.

What I explain above is what I learn by myself. I just try it and it works. I don't know if this procedure is wrong or not exactly right.

Last year I started to wear modern dress, so I don't use the bun when I am wearing modern dress.

Below is some links that related with how to choose a wig that fits with our face shape.
http://thewigcompany.com/find-the-perfect-wig-for-your-face-shape/a/81/
http://ceko.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Pick-The-Right-Wig
http://sanggul.pasarberingharjo.com/
http://hardiyamegantara.blog.com/page/2/?page=3

Hair

 

 

Hair is the crown, especially for women. Unfortunately since I was a kid, my hair was not so thick and wavy, but thin and straight. I feel so unlucky about this and that time I was so jealous  with the other who have thick and wavy hair. But like a woman I pay attention to my hair since I was a kid. This is my story.

I remember when I was in elementary school, I was a fan of The Beatles. Because they had their hair with bangs in the front, so was I. And I often keep my hair  long enough to reach my shoulder. After that my late mother often told me to cut my hair. And I reluctantly obeyed her will. After I cut my hair, I became a little sad about my hair.

When I was in junior high school, my hair tend to reddish. People say maize hair . Until one of my friend said that I looked alike a Caucasian. But over time, my hair became black again.

When I was in college, because I grew my hair too long,  my late mother insisted and escorted me  to the salon  for hair frizz. It was once in my lifetime until now. My feeling about my new hair look was a  little glad.
Beside my tendency to lengthen  my hair,  sometimes I also cut my hair short like a crew cut.  I like to let my hair long, after that I cut my hair short like a crew cut.  I have no idea that this way I can save my money for a haircut. It happens coincidentally.

I  have  funny story about this. When I have long hair, some of my friends said that I look alike a famous Indonesian singer. ( I don't want to mention whose they mean ). And when I have  a short hair, they also said that I look alike a different  famous Indonesian singer. ( I don't want to mention whose they mean either ).

Even when I have a crew cut hair, they said that I look alike some stars. I don't mind to mention it. One said that I look alike Billy Idol, the other said that I look alike Sting and Mac Gyver. My late aunt had her own opinion about my crew cut hair, she said that my hair looks alike a deciduous forest. Forests where a majority of the trees lose their foliage at the end of the typical growing season ( Wikipedia ) But that happened many years ago.

Now I think  my hair is beginning to go bald and thin. So I am  trying to take care of my hair with diligent.

Kebaya beludru biru dengan kain sidomukti